I don't expect you to be the same
by Bloodra
Summary: When we both uncloaked, prepared to fight to the death, you froze just as I did. Was it the realization that we had similarities? Or perhaps that we found a sort of bond that one would call, ‘love at first sight’? - RED Spy X BLU Fem-Spy


**Disclaimer:** Valve owns TF2 and its characters. Fem-Spy is the fake male counterpart of the regular Spy and nothing more.

A: is the RED Spy

B: is the BLU Fem-Spy

A&B: are both the RED Spy and the BLU Fem-Spy

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A: When we bumped into each other in the tunnels while cloaked I was ready to put a bullet in your head. When we both uncloaked, prepared to fight to the death, you froze just as I did. Was it the realization that we had similarities? Or perhaps that we found a sort of bond that one would call, 'love at first sight'? This I don't know, but I do recall you staring at me with lovesick eyes as if you'd never see me again when you cloaked and disappeared. This was also my fear.

I stargazed at the top of RED base's roof smoking my brand of cigarette. It was easy pushing away the feeling of being used by my team. That first and last memory of you still wanders in my head. Could you put yourself in my place? When you'd have to be stronger than a man when your only beloved abandons you in the dead-ends? When you'd have to live in hell and die on the battlefield? Does a woman like you understand my position? Would it please you if I had to go through all that? Would you put yourself in my place?

The ashes of my drag fell to the ground as I lazily looked over to your base. Could we be forgiven if we were to be together? Is it even possible for us to be loved for what we are? I sighed and flicked my cigarette away. I lied down and stared up at the stars, reaching a hand out as if I was able to grab one of them.

B: I broke out of my reverie as my team's Scout brushed past me at blinding speeds. Why he was in a rush I'll never know. Everyone on my team looks down on me even though I prove myself time and time again. I shook my head and kept my composure leaning against the base's doorway. The moon is bright and full tonight. That RED Spy from the underground tunnels… He seems to haunt my thoughts even now.

I wonder if he puts himself in my place. Could he handle being put down, wings crippling, as he bends under the weight of what people want him to be? Willing to be the beauty but not to sleep from the truth, willing to be the queen but not in the shadow of the king? Do I have to yield and do I have to bleed for him to love me for who I am? Being RED or BLU? Being male or female? Or overall just what I am? Would he do it for me? I picked a cigarette out from my disguise kit and lit it up. I glanced at the moon thoughtfully as I took a small puff from my drag. Sorrow crept over me. Could we truly be together? I sighed as the moon captured me in its luminous light.

A: As predicted we met in the tunnels again. On purpose or not I can't say but I had to speak with you. You dropped your disguise as RED's Medic as I dropped my disguise as BLU's Demoman. You appeared less shocked but certainly more nervous than before. Would you make an effort to finally converse with me? A single step towards me?

B: I saw you bite your bottom lip. You wish to speak with me as I wish to speak with you. I couldn't make a single sound upon meeting you last time. It's even harder trying to speak with you this time. Would you make an effort to make a move or a gesture to me?

A&B: I don't expect you to be the same or to understand me but only that you love me for what I am. You say nothing still and we both cloak from the awkwardness of the moment. I saw you slip away and I did the same. We didn't encounter each other again that day. Are we shy or just afraid?

A: I sat on my bed, head between my knees in frustration. Not from today's mission even though we did lose today, but from my meeting with that female Spy. What do I have to do for you to see me? The real me. Living in hell and dying on the battlefield, do you want to make me what I am not?

Something flickered through my mind and sudden determination sparked into my being. I made a decision. I am willing to try the effort of looking in front of me. Tomorrow I shall finally speak to you to see the real you.

B: We did not meet in the tunnels but instead I met you at the outside shadowed corner of your base. You uncloaked with eyes piercing through mine. You seemed eager this time to speak. I uncloaked after you and showed you my tender but blank expression.

A: The silence is dead but yours scares me. I did not show any sign of this emotion as I stared at you intently. I finally managed to speak.

"My soulmate, look for zhe mistake-"

I heard the firing of a Sniper's rifle and just as soon as I did I hit the ground. I didn't know where I was bleeding until I looked over myself to see a hole in my stomach. I do believe the bullet went straight through me so I shouldn't be in too much danger. However, the pain that consumed me turned out to be unbearable. I grimaced in pain and I saw the horrified look on your face. The more my blood drained the more you seemed scared. I reached up for you just as I did the other night to the stars. You held me in your arms as tears streamed down your beautiful face.

I must talk to you. "Do I have to tell 'ou-"

"I ask for nothing." She cut me off while fighting back sobs.

I insisted on continuing by raising a crimson-stained, gloved hand to cease her from interrupting. "The troubled waters from where I hang-"

She shook her head vigorously. "Non, where are 'ou from? Where are 'ou… 'eaded?" she was hesitant finishing the last part of her question. I knew what she meant.

My eyes softened as I cupped a hand on the BLU Fem-Spy's cheek. I smiled. "Do 'ou really have to know?" I finished with a half-hearted chuckle.

She wiped away the stray tears on her face, still holding me. She copied my expression. "All that 'ou hide…"

I frowned at her but thankfully I didn't feel as if I was… passing away. I wanted to admit my feelings to her. I wanted to pour out my most hidden emotions to her. "Zhe doubt inside of me…" I hesitated.

"Inside of 'ou?" she repeated slowly. Her tears ceased and seemed more curious than sad.

I sighed and looked up at her with gleaming eyes.

A&B: "I don't expect 'ou to be zhe same."

We both caught each other saying the same thing. We decided to continue at the same time with the very same emotion and expression.

"I don't expect 'ou to understand me but only that 'ou love me for what I am…"

A: "When I doubt-" I said separately from you.

B: I interrupted you once again. "When I fall-" I choked on my previous tears, causing a cut-off statement. You deserve to know about the real me…

A&B: We found our voices again and started together with a brand new sentence. "The road iz too long when zometimes I am not what 'ou expect me to be. What do 'ou want me to do about eet? What would 'ou have done in my place…?"

We didn't answer each other. We didn't need to.

We held each other despite the fact that one of us was bleeding and suffering. RED and BLU soon connected through our lips as we embraced the other with as much love and passion as anyone could ever imagine. We slowly moved away from each other, staring intimately into the eyes of our lover.

B: "I think 'ou need to zee your Medic." I mentioned after a few moments of locking eyes, and lips, with you. Finally, after expressing our feelings to each other I think I understand that our relationship is official. I lifted you off from the ground, putting your arm around my shoulder. "I'll 'elp you to zhe door."

A puddle of blood lies beneath our feet from your wound. It also covered our suits and usually this would have bothered me but you are an exception. I threw on the disguise and stealthily but hastily made it across the bridge with you staggering by my side. We made it to your base's entrance. I helped you to your feet and you leaned against the doorframe. I patted your shoulder and you gave me a warm smile despite the blood that trickled from your mouth.

"Merci, my beloved…" you whispered. Soon after you turned to make it safely into your RED base and I turned to make it back to mine. I cloaked, dropped my disguise and escaped without a problem to my tunnel. We shall meet again, love…

A: The Medic passed by me as soon as you cloaked and left. He healed me and went on his way. Now I am healthy and ready to see you again. Whether it is on the battlefield or in each other's quarter's, I know we won't have any more misunderstandings. You'll always be special to me during or after battle…

A&B: Our passion shall burn on forever. Our teams will frown upon our relationship if they are to ever find out about us, but it doesn't mean a thing. I don't expect you to be the same nor do I expect you to fully understand me. What matters is my compassion and love for you. All I expect from you is to return the feelings I feel for you every waking moment of my life.

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Song belongs to their rightful owners. To see the song (Which is originally in French) go on Youtube and look up, 'A Ma Place English Lyrics' exactly. Thank you for reading. It means a lot.

The song, of course is A Ma Place by Axel Bauer and Zazie.


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